I got sucked deep down the A.I. digital rabbit hole, and generated a bunch of them. Here are a few.
Thursday 11 May 2023
Ludwig Rogues' Gallery.
I got sucked deep down the A.I. digital rabbit hole, and generated a bunch of them. Here are a few.
Friday 17 March 2023
Ludwig
WARNING: RISK OF -
anxiety
numbness, tingling feelings
confusion
difficulty in breathing or swallowing
fast, irregular, pounding, or racing heartbeat or pulse
seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there
tremor
confusion about identity, place, and time
false or unusual sense
agitation
blurred vision
dizziness, faintness, or fever
lightheadedness, dizziness, or fainting
loss of appetite
mental depression
nausea
nervousness
overactive reflexes
poor coordination
pounding in the ears
restlessness
shivering
sweating
talking or acting with excitement you cannot control
tightness in the chest
unusual tiredness or weakness
cold, clammy skin
seizures
troubled breathing
trouble sleeping
dry mouth
feeling of constant movement of self or surroundings
lack or loss of strength
memory loss
sensation of spinning
unusual dreams
abnormal ejaculation
abnormal interest in sexual intercourse
muscle twitching
Sunday 8 January 2017
Blogpology.
I've become aware of the fact that xmas songs after xmas are strangely disturbing and a little depressing. I had finished that mash-up I posted in the last blog well in advance of xmas, and it was my intention to post it on xmas day itself - but being with actual people, and having lovely Bucks Fizz(es) for breakfast, meant that plan slipped into a drunken xmas haze. Like everything in life, it's all about the timing. What brought my attention to the unsettling nature of late xmas songs was being in my local shopping center, which starts playing xmas songs sometime in early December, and has them relentlessly spugged out in every corner of the building - supermarket, shops, corridors and toilets - there is no escaping the xmuzak. Up until xmas day, and even up til new years eve, it's irritating but somehow tolerable. However, on January 5th, hearing a poptastic rock'n'roll version of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town provoked feelings of melancholy, anxiety and nausea.
I'm thrilled to report that since yesterday Ria Shopping is back to lowest-common-denominator pop muzak. So, as good as my xmash-up is - and it's fuckin awesome - I should have either posted it on xmas day, or waited until next year. Please forgive me.
Anywhoo, did y'all know that the original scallywag, STAN himself, takes to the stage this coming Tuesday and Wednesday? That's the 10th and 11th of January 2017. Only a few short miles from the heart of London's West End, the theatre capitol of the world, we perform in the infamous Etcetera Theatre, Camden. And when I say infamous, I do mean unfamous. Front row tickets are already changing hands on the black market for thousands of your English Pounds, so I urge you to snap up the few remaining seats while they are still available.
Buy tickets here.
And please do - if you haven't already - post the facebook event page link into your timeline. Here it is -
https://www.facebook.com/events/946213562179310/
I'd like to finish up this blog with a little etiquette quandary.
Let's say - hypothetically - that someone who may or may not be a family member gave you a shirt for your birthday, and that he actually always gets you a shirt for every birthday and xmas. Now, the last shirt he got you was synthetic, and you've told him numerous times that because you have delicate skin you can only wear natural fibres. You've told him this because he has bought you synthetic shirts before. Numerous times before. His birthday is a month after yours. Here's the quandary - for his birthday present, is it ok to give him that synthetic shirt he just got you, that you have never worn and will never wear?
I think it's safe to assume - hypothetically - that he likes the shirt, because he chose the bloody thing, and like most people buys presents based on what he likes, rather than what he thinks the person he's getting it for likes. And perhaps, if you gave him the shirt back, he would in future remember that you can't wear synthetic fibres, and get you a cotton shirt. Or woollen. Or silk. Or something that's not a fucking shirt.
However, if this person who may or may not be a close family member was - hypothetically - the kind of person that reacts extremely badly to anything he perceived as criticism, would the inevitable and mind-bendingly tedious political fall-out that followed render the possible future acquisition of non-synthetic shirt gifts as too nominal a benefit to risk it for?
Just in case you're wondering, you also assume - hypothetically - that this person that may or may not share lots of genes with you never reads your blog, and is in fact blissfully unaware that you have been blogging for almost a decade.
If you do have any insights to illuminate this entirely hypothetical quandary, please stick 'em in the Comments section below.
Tuesday 3 January 2017
Tick Tock - Where's My Cock?
In case you're wondering, the title of this post is not merely gratuitous profanity - rather a carefully crafted cryptic reference to the fact that STAN will strut his stuff exactly a week from today.
So let's get straight into the Shameless Self Promotion part of this blog post.
We play next week on the 10th and 11th of January in the Etcetera Theatre, Camden as part of the Black Box Festival.
Tickets can be bought here, for the nominal price of a Tenner, or 8 squid concessions. Virtually giving 'em away, you're robbing me! I do have some squeezes to give away, so if you think you are a worthy recipient please let me know. If you convince me that you are bringing a bunch of friends with you, a freebie is as good as yours.
Here's the facebook event page, which I'm led to believe is the key promotional tool that I need to be pushing and encouraging you all to share. So please do share it, and ask the people you share it with to share it, and so on, until after 7 degrees of separation, the entire population of the planet will be plugged in and turned onto this event. Probably. Sadly, the Etcetera Theatre won't hold 7 billion people. Not all sitting down, anyway.
For more info about the show, and a lovely lickle review from a German Newspaper, have a look at the last blog post.
I think that pretty much does it for Part One of this blog post, with all dem links an' promotion an' dat innit.
Ai! Arsenal match kicking off soon (we play The Mighty Bournemouth) so this is a perfect juncture to take a break from blogging the wankosphere. In Part Two I'll do a bit of a State Of The Nation type thingamiboo. And the nation is in a right fucking state. See you on the flip side. Cmon you GOONERS!
As you are all clearly burning to know what happened in the match, I can divulge that we were down 3 nil after 20 minutes, and equalised in the 2nd minute of injury time through an Olivier Giroud header.
Ok then. Theatre. And that. In a nutshell, the world in general and the UK and US in particular are going down the shitter. Broadly speaking, it seems to me like we have two choices - retreat and hide, or speak up and be heard. Theatre is about coming together as a community to share our stories, engage with each other, stimulate conversation, challenge the norms and change our minds.
Or you can chose to stay at home and watch telly. Isolate yourself. Consume rather than participate.
The latter is easy and comforting. The former is challenging and rewarding.
I'm not suggesting you never watch telly. Some telly is great. But as a theatre maker - and more importantly a theatre lover - I am committed to celebrating the magic of the theatre moment. Ephemeral and unique, with the power to transform and connect us.
Nuff said. See y'all in Camden.
BONUS TRACK - As a Special Somewhat Late Xmas Treat, here's a little mash-up what I did. An Xmash-Up.
Wednesday 7 December 2016
The (Real) Return Of The Prodigal Scum.
Time once again to jizz in the face of the Blogosphere, precipitated by Actual News - past, upcoming and political-cultural.
Despite The-End-Of-The-World-As-We-Know-It (more on that later) Scallywag Endeavours has managed to stay active on the cultural landscape. When I was invited by the redoubtable Ron Bunzl to co-direct a Story Telling Circle project in Huesca, Spain, it was quite simply the proverbial offer you can't refuse. And this time not because of blackmail that would lead to being charged and convicted with a felony - rather because it was an opportunity to be involved in a wonderful project that would engage and stimulate me, that I would undoubtedly learn from, and that had every chance to enrich and transform the lives of the participants. I'm thrilled to report that it delivered all of the above. Plus we made some powerful and moving theatre, and developed and refined some genuinely new ways to reveal process as product and versa visa. In the words of the poet - That's some new shit, man.
Massive shout and nuff respec to all the participants, who were honest, courageous and generous (which makes the job of directing fun and inspiring) and though "amateurs" came armed with a serious arsenal of skills - from concert violinist, to parkour hip-hopper, to kick-ass flamenco dancer, a kick-ass contemporary dancer, and with a music and an art therapist thrown in for good measure. Special shout out to the wonderful musician Simone "the missing link" Giacomini, who arrived for the last 2 weeks of the process and inspired the final stages of our evolution. And finally a mention for Huesca itself. What a great little town! Do yourself a flavour and go visit.
STAN is a small man with a big mouth. He's not afraid to say what's on his mind, or on your mind. He is the Anti-New Man. Loud. Aggressive. Unapologetic. But his abrasive exterior also hides something more fragile - the small boy inside, lost, alone, confused and frightened.
STAN is in some way a reaction to modern 'civilised' man. The man who has suppressed his basic urges, who censors his primal animal instincts. The man who is emasculated by modern, powerful Independent Woman, who at the same time as demanding his dicklessness, despises him for it.
The cracks in STAN's Psyche are sometimes revealed through moments of self reflection - "Do you ever feel like you're being manipulated?" He asks the audience. "It's fucking weird!" STAN chooses to live in denial about the fact that he's a puppet, unwilling to deal with the horror of this reality.
And here's a nice review from the Nurnberger Zeitung -
The one-man-show "STAN" again proves that the best humour is not just slapstick but has discreet depth. At first sight STAN is the archetype of a chauvinist: sexist to the threshold of pain, testosterone driven and in an absolute yet inadequate manner sure of himself. But behind this facade lies a sensitive inner life. That this identity crises is so fascinating can alone be accredited to Jim Barnard's accomplished performance and his remarkable physical skill. He is a puppeteer with both feet and one hand in his Alter Ego.
Thursday 21 April 2016
The Re-Re-Launch Of Scallywag Radio
Some order can now be restored to the world, as Scallywag Radio now has it's own platform, and Scallywag Theater can go back to blogging about theater (or Theatre, for the English).
As you'll see, I defected to Word Press for the Radio blog, coz it looks better, innit? But it doesn't seem to work quite as well as the old faithful blogspot, once you were a good blog, but now you're not. Except you still are. What...... Ever!
To be honest, I'm now not convinced that having blogs and content in 2 different places is such a hot idea, and I may even consolidate the whole damn thing into a Scallywag Productions blog...
Wadaya fink? Your opinions as always are very welcome.
Saturday 16 April 2016
Scallywag Radio Presents - Unfinished (Yet Another Micro Audio Play)
Ging Gang Scallywaggywaggywaggy Wash Them.
Well fuck me ragged, I'm on a roll with these. This one's only 2 mins 15 secs, and has no clever environ-flippin-mental soundscape - but I think it's my favorite to date. That could just be because it's the newest, and new things are very attractive. But I like to imagine that it's the quality of the writing. And the performance.
Everything I want to say about this is in the last post. So if you give a monkey's, do check that out. If not, fuggit, I say art should stand for itself, and no amount of background info is gonna make bad art better.
I'm considering making a new Blog that is dedicated to Scallywag Radio. But in the mean time it will continue to piggy-back on the broken shoulders of Scallywag Theater.
For your comprehensive listening pleasure, here's the first two Micro Audio Plays.
Fast And Spurious.
Like That.