Monday, 4 April 2016

Clamywag.

You saucy Scallywaggers, you.

In response to the imaginary clamour from across the interweb, I give you yet another barely anticipated and ill-conceived update from Team Scallywag.

So in roughly chroniclogical order, I'll begin with the end of last year and the return of STAN to the world stage. And when I say world stage, I do mean a rather small stage in Croydon. Yet a stage it was, with lights and an audience and everything. A stage in the inaugural year of the soon-to-be-prestigious Croydonites Festival, directed by the redoubtable Anna Arthur. MASSIVE props to those of you who made it down there. I do realize that asking someone from London to come to Croydon is much like asking them to sail to Madagascar. In a bath tub. Naked. Quite simply, something so far from their normal frame of reference that it is virtually unimaginable. So once again, those that did come, big up yo self, for real. I also invited directors and programmers from many of London's independent theatres and festivals, to introduce my work and my self with a view to more performances of STAN and opening a dialogue about opportunities for developing and presenting new work. Due to the overwhelming response I was unable to meet many of you, so apologies for that. In future, I urge you to first contact my PA so she can schedule a time slot for you to meet me and to offer the massive financial and administrative support of your organizations.


Immediately following the return of STAN was a small UK tour of the piece which premiered at The Yard in London in April last year - namely Choreography Of Arguments Around A Table from the wonderful Dog Kennel Hill Project. (Probably safe to say that short, snappy titles are not their strongest point.) We had some excellent performances in Brighton and Warwick and probably somewhere else, but for me the highlight was certainly one night in The Place Theatre, London. It was a Tuesday or a Wednesday night, and the theatre was packed, maybe 250 people. Which is just fantastic. For so many people to come out mid week and pay (it wasn't cheap...) to see extremely challenging contemporary dance theatre is, I think, a very encouraging sign. It's very easy to get swept up in the wave of negativity about the state of the arts in London, so this was a welcome panacea for that common malady of expecting everything to be shit.

On top of that, and on a much more personal, dare I say even spiritual note, The Place is where I spent 3 of the best years of my life, engaged in the beautifully simple and all-consuming pleasure of a full-time dance training. At the end of each year, we would have the thrill of performing on the stage of The Place Theatre, so returning to that stage after 20 years was very special indeed. The audience loved it, and someone wrote this excellent review.

Review of Arguments Around A Table from londondance.com

Next stop was Barcelona, ostensibly for rest and recreation - yet I had the very good fortune to meet my new artistic hero and mentor Samuel Salcedo, who is a fantastic sculptor and an all-around top geezer. For the last couple of years I have been fumbling around trying to develop new techniques for molding and casting smaller scale puppets, with some limited success. (Some pix in this old post.) Last year I took the small step of modeling with sculpture rather than puppets as the end product, which was oddly liberating, as a sculpture doesn't have the limitations of a puppet, because it doesn't need to function. As a puppet. Anyway, my dear friend and excellent sculptor Frank Plant introduced me to Samuel, who not only took the time to show me some of the tricks of his trade, but also gave me a chunk of pro grade plasticine, which is a major upgrade to the kiddie plasticine I'd been working with. Massively inspired by Samuel, his techniques and this new material, and have been spending some time developing out-and-out sculpture skills and ideas, rather than just making puppets. Here's a couple pix of some early efforts.



February saw an unexpected invitation to play Malvolio in the pilot for a film adaptation of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, directed by Uber Geez Tony Wadham. We spent a very intense week shooting in a chateau in Normandy with a superb cast and crew. Hopefully this will lead to a feature length version that will be shot at the end of this year. Tony is busy putting together a show reel to get proper funding with, which might include this scene from the legendary John Ottway, who played Feste.

Fuck me, this blog post is long. Hang in there, imaginary reader, almost there.

Two weeks ago we did another show of Argument, this time in Oxford. Very different performance as it was not in a theatre, but in an art gallery space, but once again got an amazing review. Read it here.

OK, that's pretty much that for now. As a special treat, I will leave you with a Mash-Up I made last Summer for my mate Phil's 50th Bday. The theme for his party was Hawaii Five-0. (D'ya geddit?) Some of you might be old enough to remember that show and it's excellent theme tune, which was gagging for a Jungle Mash-Up.


Monday, 9 November 2015

Getting A Head In Puppetry.

Dear Scallywagistas.
Having been dabbling in smaller scale puppets for a bit, (see pic on the right) I am back to large scale, moving mouth foam rubber with the gentleman pictured below. He as yet has no defined name or character (or indeed body) but many ideas, and of course potential. I think there may be a "Meet the director" thing after the STAN show in Croydonites, and I plan to bring him down there to illustrate how my puppets have evolved over the years (STAN was my first puppet).  Tickets are still available so hurry! I posted a pic of him on Facebook today, and so far comments have been that he looks angry, unhappy and mean. (Perhaps they were talking about me?) I think he's more enigmatic and pensive. (Perhaps I'm talking about me?) But foam rubber is in the eye of the beholder and all that. Probably.
Hokey pokey, onwards and upwards. Or sideways.




Friday, 6 November 2015

STAN's Nürnberger Trial.

Dear Scallynaggers,

Just in case you covert continued compulsion and coercion to come to Croydon, here's an excellent review from the local newspaper we got for a show in Nurnberg as part of the amazing

Figurentheater Festival Erlangen

probably the best (and certainly the biggest) puppet festival in the German speaking world, translated by my ex, proving she wasn't completely useless. What d'you mean, bitter?

Tickets availa-bubble here - get 'em while they're hot. 



STAN review - Nürnberger Zeitung,

The one-man-show "STAN" again proves that the best humor is not just slapstick but has discreet depth. At first sight STAN is the archetype of a chauvinist: sexist to the threshold of pain, testosterone driven and in an absolute yet inadequate manner sure of himself. But behind this facade lies a sensitive inner life. That this identity crises is so fascinating can alone be accredited to Jim Barnard's accomplished performance and his remarkable physical skill. He is a puppeteer with both feet and one hand in his Alter Ego.

And here's an excellent flyer designed by the Incorrigible Graphics Maestra Jona Borrut for a show we did up in Norway.

Thursday, 5 November 2015

Now´s the time to post a rhyme.

Dear Scallywaggers, small and great,
A week today will be the date,
And curtain up will be at 8,
For STAN to get in motion,

That´s why I felt today was right,
To tell you of that splendid night,
Once more to ram home, if I might,
More Shameless Self Promotion.

So come to Croydon, if you dare,
Put on a frock and do your hair,
For Croydonites first night is there,
And folks will be excited.

So get your tickets in advance,
Next Thursday is your only chance,
I´ll be so thrilled I´ll sing and dance.
And STAN will be delighted.

Wednesday, 28 October 2015

To Boldly Go Where No STAN Has Gone Before...

Dearest Scallywaggers, Scallyblaggers and Scallyshaggers,

It may be only 57 shopping days until Christmas, but this year Santa is coming early in the form of everybody´s favourite lovable rogue, the original Scallywag, STAN. As STAN himself might say - Ho Ho MuthaFrackin Ho.

After extensive research, my Marketing and Promotions Team have determined that two weeks before the show is the optimal time to compel you all to stick this date into your agendas, plenty of lube.

The date to remember is the 12th of November.

Here´s the link to STAN´s Croydonites webpage.

As many of you will know, STAN has delighted and excited audiences from Bavaria to Belarus to Barcelona, from Norway to Slovenia to Cabo Verde and beyond. But perhaps the high point in STAN´s short yet glittering life was in La Paz, Bolivia. Not high because of the 3000 meters altitude or extremely potent Bolivian Marching Powder, but rather the two sold out nights there of rapturous reception in South America´s oldest Opera House, where for the first time in that beautiful theatre´s 150 year history, we stripped the stage naked of all wings, flats and sets. And said "cock" a lot.

But on the 12th of November STAN looks set to top even those giddy heights, as we open the first ever New Theatre Festival in the legendary land of opportunity and adventure, otherwise known as Croydon. Contrary to popular misconception, Croydon is actually very easy and quick to get to - only 15 minutes on a train from Victoria. And London Bridge. Probably.

Mad props to Anna Arthur, Princess Croydon herself and both the brains and brawn behind this daring missionary mission, to bravely go where no culture has gone before. (Although we all know that David Bowie AND Kate Bush went to Art College there, right? Right? Get in.)

We perform one night only in The Utopia Theatre at Mathews Yard in the historic heart of Croydon´s Olde Town. As it´s an intimate theatre with limited seating, I would urge you to book early to avoid disappointment. (Yes, that is another embedded link in the word "book" taking you directly to the Ticket Source booking site.)

We´re very excited about STAN´s UK Premier, and looking forward to seeing friends old and new down in Croydon.

See y´all in Utopia.


Monday, 30 March 2015

Return Of The Prodigal Scum - Back To Blighty. Or Sumfink.

High Scallyblaggers.

HIGH TIME indeed for a Scallywag Update. After being away for more than two decades, London has welcomed me back like an old but very expensive whore. She is not shy or fussy, she has definitely seen better days, is probably a little too proud of her costly but vulgar new tit-job, and is the kind of women that orders a "double anything with anything" in a bar.

Speaking of over-priced drinks, massive shout out to Konzert Theater Bern in that 3D picture postcard called Switzerland. I was invited there two weeks ago to record the voice over for their new Frankenstein production and once again had a fantastic time. Special shout out to Winston for being such a perfect host. Premier is on April 23rd, so do yourself a flavor and get down there. http://www.konzerttheaterbern.ch/tanz/uebersicht/veranstaltung/-87a3e29be2/?month=201504&date=1429567200

And thus hence and forthwith back to Blighty, anon. And to the ongoing project with the quite fabulous Dog Kennel Hill Project. http://www.dogkennelhillproject.org/#!argument/c1amq
Rehearsals for their (our, Godammit!) new production is well underway, and comes to premier at The Yard Theatre in Hackney Wick from April 27th - 30th. (Yeah, I did embed that link, I'm not fucking around here.)

There will be a tour in November to places in the UK that I have never been to, and quite frankly, doubt they actually exist. Like Warwick. And Scotland.

More updates and reminders to follow, but for now thats yer lot.

Monday, 24 November 2014

A Voice In The Dark.

My Dear Scallywaggers, Scallyblaggers and Scallyshaggers.

After 3 years away from the mic, I am now about to take a break from my busy schedule selling gay porn to Sherpas on the foothills of the Himalayas to get back to whoring my voice rather than my DVDs. Yes indeed, the gaping hole left in the Voice Over Biz when I curtailed my participation is once again to be stuffed.

To that end I have commissioned my entire Web Design Team to launch a new page, presenting and promoting my work in this field. Part of this massive re-branding exercise required a logo to be designed, which highlighted my theatre background as an important influence on my voiceover work. Enormous credit is due to the tireless efforts of my Graphics Department, who's deep understanding of the design brief and consummate skills and endeavour were stretched to near breaking point before they triumphed with this master-stroke of corporate logo innovation.

http://jamesbarnardvoiceovers.wordpress.com/
The web page itself can be found here.

Your comments and feedback are, as always, welcome and appreciated. Do feel free to share that page with anyone and everyone who might need a voiceover. Which is everyone. Your life will sound much better when I have recorded the sound-track for it.

Plans for Spooky Mansion are to get it made by Spring to sell it to Festivals over the Summer. Watch this space for updates.

Laters.