Blogpology.

Dear Scallypeeps, a quick blogpost apology - a blogpology, if you like.

I've become aware of the fact that xmas songs after xmas are strangely disturbing and a little depressing. I had finished that mash-up I posted in the last blog well in advance of xmas, and it was my intention to post it on xmas day itself - but being with actual people, and having lovely Bucks Fizz(es) for breakfast, meant that plan slipped into a drunken xmas haze. Like everything in life, it's all about the timing. What brought my attention to the unsettling nature of late xmas songs was being in my local shopping center, which starts playing xmas songs sometime in early December, and has them relentlessly spugged out in every corner of the building - supermarket, shops, corridors and toilets - there is no escaping the xmuzak. Up until xmas day, and even up til new years eve, it's irritating but somehow tolerable. However, on January 5th, hearing a poptastic rock'n'roll version of Santa Claus Is Coming To Town provoked feelings of melancholy, anxiety and nausea.

I'm thrilled to report that since yesterday Ria Shopping is back to lowest-common-denominator pop muzak. So, as good as my xmash-up is - and it's fuckin awesome - I should have either posted it on xmas day, or waited until next year. Please forgive me.

 Anywhoo, did y'all know that the original scallywag, STAN himself, takes to the stage this coming Tuesday and Wednesday? That's the 10th and 11th of January 2017. Only a few short miles from the heart of London's West End, the theatre capitol of the world, we perform in the infamous Etcetera Theatre, Camden. And when I say infamous, I do mean unfamous. Front row tickets are already changing hands on the black market for thousands of your English Pounds, so I urge you to snap up the few remaining seats while they are still available.

Buy tickets here.

And please do - if you haven't already - post the facebook event page link into your timeline. Here it is -

https://www.facebook.com/events/946213562179310/

I'd like to finish up this blog with a little etiquette quandary.

Let's say - hypothetically - that someone who may or may not be a family member gave you a shirt for your birthday, and that he actually always gets you a shirt for every birthday and xmas. Now, the last shirt he got you was synthetic, and you've told him numerous times that because you have delicate skin you can only wear natural fibres. You've told him this because he has bought you synthetic shirts before. Numerous times before. His birthday is a month after yours. Here's the quandary - for his birthday present, is it ok to give him that synthetic shirt he just got you, that you have never worn and will never wear?

I think it's safe to assume - hypothetically - that he likes the shirt, because he chose the bloody thing, and like most people buys presents based on what he likes, rather than what he thinks the person he's getting it for likes. And perhaps, if you gave him the shirt back, he would in future remember that you can't wear synthetic fibres, and get you a cotton shirt. Or woollen. Or silk. Or something that's not a fucking shirt.

However, if this person who may or may not be a close family member was - hypothetically - the kind of person that reacts extremely badly to anything he perceived as criticism, would the inevitable and mind-bendingly tedious political fall-out that followed render the possible future acquisition of non-synthetic shirt gifts as too nominal a benefit to risk it for?

Just in case you're wondering, you also assume - hypothetically - that this person that may or may not share lots of genes with you never reads your blog, and is in fact blissfully unaware that you have been blogging for almost a decade.

If you do have any insights to illuminate this entirely hypothetical quandary, please stick 'em in the Comments section below.